Hire An Enemy
Vivian FangShare
Sometimes an enemy can be more productive than having a friend around
I bought a book, The 48 Laws of Power, 2 weeks ago during my trip in the USA. One of the biggest reasons I bought this book was its Law 2.
LAW 2
NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS, LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES
― Joost Elffers and Robert Greene from "The 48 Laws of Power"
I will be lying to you if I was not a bit puzzled when I saw this. I get the part about not trusting friends too much.
But why use an enemy?
How do you use enemies?
Isn't friendship something to cheer for?
Shouldn't we just stay away from enemies?
During today's breakfast, I finally finished reading this section. I resonate with Robert. Here are why.
(Note: There are definitely dark sides to human nature, and there is no need to sugarcoat it if that doesn't help us.)
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Friends
It is so true that only the closed circle around you knows you well, and if you trust them too much, it can be dangerous. The fact is, if you don't love a person, she/he can never hurt you. And if your friends know too many details about you and you're too honest about everything, it can provoke envy, jealousy, unnecessary competition, and resentment because not every friend can handle it. I believe this is why it is wise to keep some distance from your friends to avoid potential problems. Alternatively, spread your glory stories to different groups of friends.
But when we talk about work, I can't agree more with Joost and Rober that hiring a friend to work limits our power. If you were lucky enough to hire a good friend who is good at what they do, then, of course, there is no issue. But luck is a blessing, not something you can ask for.
In any working situation, we should only consider whether these people are competent and professional. Nothing else. But very often, it is harder to be honest with a friend about what needs to be improved at work without dampening your friendship or hurting their feelings.
"Keep friends for friendship, but work with the skilled and competent."
― Joost Elffers and Robert Greene
Do you think you are nice to your friends, so that they will be grateful and return the favour in the future?
Think twice.
I learned the hard way that friends don't remember how generous you were to them. It doesn't matter if you bought their dinner, gifts, or spent your time and resources helping them; don't expect anything from them - a lesson I learnt when I was very young.
Hence, I like how Joost and Robert put:
"If you never expect gratitude from a friend, you will be pleasantly surprised when they do prove grateful"
― Joost Elffers and Robert Greene
It is so true. Be genuinely nice and help others, but do not expect anything in return for these good deeds. Once you have prepared yourself for it, you will always have enjoyable surprises. More importantly, no one will ever be able to hurt you.
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Enemy
On the other hand, hiring an enemy is a matter entirely different. A former enemy has so much to prove to you that he is capable. To start, an enemy has a strong motivation and a desire to earn your trust - she/he has so much to prove her/his worthiness.
He will be loyal as long as you have common goals.
"Whenever you can, bury the hatchet with an enemy, and make a point of putting him in your service."
―Joost Elffers and Robert Greene
So the key is to align your interests. Make it manageable.
Make your enemy your friend if you can. If you have a bigger goal to achieve, hire an enemy who shares a mutual interest with you; she/he will not let you down, as personal feelings are not in play.
"Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?"
― Abraham Lincoln
With enemies, we do not expect gratitude. Hence, any ingratitude can't surprise you here. This is a good thing, as you are already mentally prepared for any episodes.
We should always treat a strong enemy with respect. They are the ones competing with us and the ones we learn from. We can only be stronger and wiser if our opponents are tough and brilliant. They are the ones who make the competition meaningful. I am always grateful if I have any vigorous enemies around me.
"Without enemies around us, we grow lazy. An enemy at our heels sharpens our wits, keeping us focused and alert."
―Joost Elffers and Robert Greene
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Conclusion
I am sure none of us wants to be surrounded by enemies. So the key is don’t let them get you. You should learn to stop having any emotional feelings for any enemies. Play safe.
There indeed is so much we can learn from respectful enemies. I welcome any declared true enemies rather than fake friends who are never truly happy for you during your moment.
In addition, once we set to have minimal, if not zero, expectations from people around us, friends or enemies, we will do just fine. It may be a tough life living this way, but life is always tough.
Keep smiling.
Joost Elffers and Robert Greene(1998), THE 48 LAWS OF POWER, PENGUIN BOOKS.
#VFangJotting
Photo 1: Breakfast and reading

Photo 2: a very famous dumpling place in Taipei

Photo 3: boiling dumplings at home

Photo 4: Dumplings and Eggs. I have both green onion and garlic today

Photo 5: Law 2 - Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies

Photo 6: Keys to Power

Photo 7: "Ingratitude has a long and deep history"

Photo 8: "Keep friends for friendship, but work with the skilled and competent." "Without enemies around us, we grow lazy."
